What is Love?

I believe that each one of us has an energy inside. The energy that rules over our minds, and shapes us into persons with various personalities. It controls our thoughts, our actions and the aura we create. Think of it as a ball of ever-chaotic particles that look beautiful from a distance, almost like they have poetry like moves. Like they’re stable and strong. Although, when you look closely, you see them moving in a complete disturbance. Fast and confused. Sounds much like most of our lives, doesn’t it?

We are constantly looking for someone whose energy matches ours. Well, “matches”, really is vague. I mean, we’re looking for someone whose energy soothes ours. An energy that calms the tornado inside of us. An energy that makes us happy, confident, caring and more empathetic. And as our energy begins to find this, the particles slow down. They become more relaxed as if in a state of euphoria.

Both your energies mesmerize each others’. And slowly, your energies melt into one beautiful structure whose particles dance around to the sound of romance and to the sound of coordinated heartbeats as the colors in your mind begin to giggle. They’re all laughing at you. You, the stupid kid in love.

What is love?


-Gunjan Sethi

A Mind of Chaos and Sex

We’ve had a few late night conversations. Late nights are for the deepest, darkest things in us. The secrets and stories we never tell. The side of us people do not know about. Inevitably, when we talk to someone at this time, we’re a different version of us. We feel some sort of force that brings us closer to them.

That night, we spoke about sex.

Sex is something that is special. It’s not just the body. It’s the resonance we can create between our mind and body. It’s the time we meet our real selves.

He’s got a very chaotic mind. So many colors and so shapes, you can’t make sense out of it. So many ambitions and so many goals, you’ll never know what he’ll be. But he does. He knows it very well.

There is nobody on his mind. Nobody makes it that far. He likes to distance himself from people. He will always be a mystery to such. And the few that come close, will fall madly in love.

Don’t mistake him for being selfish. He cares, but he leaves that to his heart. Unlike a lot of us, his mind controls his heart. Everything is well-thought, well-planned.

He’s irresistible and magnetic. You can never get enough of him. He’ll make you laugh and the next thing you know, you’ve fallen in love. That’s his victory, knowing he can control your mind. “A mental paralysis“, as he likes to call it.

He loves sex. He’s very passionate. He will slowly guide you to a place where he can control you. His power is invincible. It’s not just physical, it’s mental. Time will flow and he’ll get closer to you. All the colors and shapes in his mind will begin to liquefy and they will become crazier than ever. That’s when you feel it. You feel the rage of emotions. It’ll make you weak and him, stronger than ever! You’ll give in to him. You’re vulnerable. And that, is what he loves.

You may not have been through such a fierce adventure before, but he will make you love it. He’ll make you want it more than once, more than ever!

A Made-for-Each-Other Type.

I’m not jealous of her, though. I don’t know what this is. Usually when I have a crush, I’m literally jealous of other girls merely looking him.

But this is so beautiful. It’s different. And whatever it is, it makes me fucking happy!

I’ve never met his girlfriend. We have quite a few common friends. As far as I can imagine, from her pictures, she looks absolutely gorgeous. She’s got great eyes, beautiful hair and an attractive figure. And trust me when I say this, they make a perfect pair. Their complexions, their heights and the way look together. A made-for-each-other type.

But in my head, it’s all different. I need him. And he needs me. We need to each other to stay sane.

“Look at him. He’s an asshole!”

“Please, that’s what you love about him!”

He’s got a girlfriend.

We played Uno. It was my turn and he looked into my eyes. I was lost. His eyes were full of passion and I could have them watch me forever. His looks were so strong, they weakened me. Blood would rush to my face and I’d turn red. Awkwardly, I played my card. After a quick look at his cards, his eyes locked mine again. He played. And so did I. Except, I played mindlessly. I thought lesser of Uno, more of what it would be like to kiss him. Soon, the game was over. He had won it. Once again. Just like he’d won my heart.

“You’re a nerd.”, he said as he picked the pile of played cards.


“Look.” I had played yellow for green.

I was embarrassed. Not because I’d made such a stupid mistake, but because now he probably thinks I was lost and completely zoned out while he looked at me. I smiled. And he grinned at me while he bit his lip. He did this often and it was very sexy!

I could totally grab him and go in for a never-ending kiss!

I was so charmed by him. Everything about him was attractive. The way he talked, walked, flirted, smiled.

He called me a nerd. We were very different. Different hobbies, different tastes, different personalities. He was out-going, fun and loved to drink. I loved reading, eating good food and I was not a fan of alcohol.

But it’s what he does to me. We drank the other day.

“You have to drink as much as I tell you to.”

Old Monk, his favorite, mixed with Thums up. It was smelly and bitter, but I was doing it for him. We drank two glasses each and I felt tipsy. He was fine as ever. He spoke about his school, music, drugs and his friends. I couldn’t get enough of him. I just wanted to look at him while he talked.

He’s a drug. He’s addictive. He makes me happy. In his presence, I feel high and floaty. I feel lost and I’m unable to think. But, as soon as we part, something hits me hard and I realize that he’s got a goddamned girlfriend. A very lucky one!

They don’t believe in you?

They don’t believe in you?
Let them not!
Let them say what they want to. Let them demean you.
Only the clothes you wear will ever know how much you have sweat.
Only those muscles who have labored from the sun to moon can ever tell the stories of your hard work.
They were your fingers, that carried the bulk of your imagination through papers and papers.
Ask your mind how much you tried to fit in. Failed, tried over. Failed, tried over. And over.
They never gave up on you. Don’t give up on them!
They can do way more than you think. Keep fighting till you’re the last man standing!
So, stop thinking and start believing.


-Gunjan Sethi

Does your Heart have a Place for Yourself?

While I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I found this image. Such a beautifully written piece of work about how every single human must find a place for themselves in their hearts!

It’s about time all of us realize the beauty within ourselves. Not only realize, but also cherish it! Regardless of how many people are trying to put you down, step forward and rise. Look above the haze and show them that your love for yourself cannot be injured by them.

So keep loving yourself, and I promise you’ll have a billion candles on your cake. ❤


Toodles x

The Darkness, the Silence and the Evil.

A dark, vicious universe of opportunities. And you’re standing here. Right here. You look around and you see nothing. It’s pitch dark, and you rub your eyes wishing you’d see something. Disappointed, you fall to the ground on your knees, taxed and capitulated to life, asking yourself, “Everyone is at their happy place! Everyone is beautiful, rich, loved, proud, and successful. Why don’t I see my dream? Where is all that I wished for? All I see is black. This is frustrating me, I want to just sit here. I want to give up. I don’t want to try anymore.

The Silence spoke, “Take off everything you have in that head of yours, my child, and stop being so querulous. Don’t just look, focus. Focus, and you’ll see your dreams.
You lift your head. Clinching your brows, you peer through the black air. Slowly, you dust off your shoulder, fix your hair, broaden your chest and stand up on your feet. You shut your eyes and take a long, deep breathe.
Igniting the fire, you say to your soul, “I’m going to win. Nothing stops me from being what I dream of!”
You open your eyes, and begin to walk. The fire in them, is guiding you. The fire of hunger. The fire of desire. The fire of the unstoppable.
You walk faster. And faster. You trip over the evil. He’s trying to pull you back. He’s wily and crafty. He’s going to blow into your eyes and you’re going to be blinded again, only to go back to where you started. He’s wants to put out your light!
Despite of his deceiving ascetic looks and incandescent behavior, you will protect your light.
You’re going to stay strong. You’re going to get back on the fighting ring and knock him out! You’re going to say “NO”!
Now you begin to head towards your dream faster and faster. You’ve bent your spine and you’re cutting through the dark. Crushing everything that ever pulled you down, you run faster towards the light! Your brows still clinched and you remain in focus, blurring the evil. You’re sweating and panting, but your body refuses to give up.
You can see yourself getting closer and closer. Closer, to your dreams. The light at the end of the path is enlarging. Excitement fills you! You begin to tear up. As the tear rolls down your face, you feel more determined.
Very unexpectedly, you are encapsulated by a bright light! You hear a loud applause and see happy faces around you.
Oh my God, congratulations honey!
I’m so proud of you!
All the hard work payed off. Congrats!

The Silence was broken. The Darkness was overshadowed by your light. The Evil, he’s no more.
They came, they taught and left.
You’ve learnt a lesson for life, haven’t you?


The Mask

Masks can be dangerous. Very dangerous.
We all will eventually become what we pretend to be.
When you’re alone, in the dark, peer through the crepuscular atmosphere around you and find yourself.
This is where you will feel, the real you. When no soul is in vicinity of yours, your mind will think, you. It will think your thoughts. Your own.
You will sit there, talking to yourself. And loving yourself.
But wait! Are you unable to do that? Are you unable to talk to your inner self? Unable to love yourself?
Has the mask walked you away, too far, from your very own soul?
Why did you let this happen, honey? It was so gradual, you didn’t even realize!
Always remember, from now on, the most important meeting you have is with yourself. The most beautiful moments you spend are with your body. The most interesting person to talk to is, yourself. It’s you.

It’s time you take the mask off.
It’s time you meet yourself.
It’s time you love yourself.
Once again.

Toodles x

Young, Wild and Free ~

She woke up one morning. Walked into her balcony. The sun was gleaming through the chilly morning wind, right into her eyes.
The sparkle.
The dance in those eyes said to her,
You, my girl, are young. You are wild. You are free. Don’t you ever let anything make you feel any less powerful!
You must be your own hero. You must be strong and lift that head high while you walk through the crowd.
They’re going to say you’re fat or too thin, you’re too dark or too fair, you’re too tall or too short, you’re too shy or too slutty, but hey! What does your heart say to you?
Listen to it. Very carefully.
Maybe close your eyes.
It’s tells you how magnificent you are! It says that no matter what you want to achieve, you are going to!
Yes. You’re going to look. Aim. And shoot.
There’s nothing you can’t achieve. Nothing.
Don’t let fate write in the book of your life. Step out, step forward, and carve your future. It’s never too late, never too early. The setting is always right.

She took a long breath.
This was the best conversation of her life.

Toodles x

Be your own kind of beautiful! ~

Does all that powder on your face make you uncomfortable? Are those heels not letting you dance your heart off? Is that dress you tried to squeeze into, not letting you hog onto your favorite food?
Take them off!
Just go to the mirror. And look at your beautiful self. Look at how perfect that smile is. Look how perfect those eyes are.
Just look at you.
Just look, at your own kind of beautiful.
Don’t let them tell you what “beautiful” means. It’s nothing but feeling comfortable and confident.
It’s, feeling the best of you.
Impress yourself, before you impress others.
So next time you try to look “beautiful”, check yourself out. Just turn around and flip your hair.
“I’m impressed!”
A big, bright smile is the cherry on the cake.
Because don’t just look beautiful, feel beautiful ❤

Hey, what’s your kind of beautiful?

Let me know in the comments. 🙂

“The sun is on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I’ll be alright”

“Pocketful Of Sunshine”, Natasha Bedingfield


Toodles x